


Not the Way That I Do Love You

by cecilia095



Category: New Girl
Genre: Babies, F/M, Fluff, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 15:17:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5830480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilia095/pseuds/cecilia095
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The internet says we can't neglect the first baby, Nick".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not the Way That I Do Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of a companion piece to [Kindergarten Blues](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5422922), but you don't have to read that one to read/understand this.
> 
> For [newgirlystuff](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Newgirlystuff/pseuds/Newgirlystuff), who wanted to see Baby Miller #2 and a whole lot of cuteness.
> 
> Seriously, this is all just pointless cuteness, but I kind of like writing angst-free things (sometimes).
> 
> \--
> 
> The title comes from "Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros.

Being parents to one kid? Fine. Okay. Being parents to  _two kids_? Not fine. Not okay. 

(Seriously, she's kind of freaking out just  _thinking about it_. She makes a note to call Cece tomorrow and ask her how the hell her and Schmidt do it.)

Having another baby is Nick's idea, it really is, and Jess will blame him forever. One night after Elsie says she wants a baby sister, Nick pouts his lips at Jess and goes, "See, Jess? Now we have to.", (which also might explain why their child's Barbie dolls own more clothes than Jess does).

"We don't  _have to_ ," Jess says, and then she hovers over Nick while he makes his TV dinner - they don't have much time to cook these days, and Nick likes the way Lean Cuisine tastes. "You just think we have to because our five-year-old demanded a sister. We  _can_ tell the kid 'no' sometimes, you know."

Nick bites into his Alfredo pasta and shakes his head. "I think it's a good idea," he says, and then Jess raises an eyebrow at him. "What? Don't you miss the teething, and the poopy diapers, and not sleeping?"

"Um." Jess laughs and then pulls a Lean Cuisine dinner out of the freezer for herself. She forgets to eat sometimes when she's helping Elsie with her homework, and now it's 9:30 P.M., and Lean Cuisine Sweet and Sour Chicken it is! She presses a button on the microwave, and then she turns to her husband, both hands on her hips. "I guess I kind of do."

—

Three months later, Jess is pregnant and Nick and Jess break the news to Elsie with a 'I'm Going To Be a Big Sister' t-shirt and a coloring book and a Barbie (as if fifty-three Barbies isn't enough), because, "The internet says we can't neglect the first baby, Nick".

Elsie is  _so_ happy, and after she tires herself out jumping up and down about it, she says, "Mommy, can I call Benjy?" Benjy is Cece and Schmidt's five-year-old. You know, the one who told Elsie she'd never be as cool as him because  _he_ has a little sister and  _she_ doesn't. "I need to rub it in his face."

Jess has no idea who taught her to say  _that_ (um, Nick,  _obviously_ ) but she happily pulls her phone off of the kitchen counter and dials in Cece's number. "Ceec? Put Benjy on."

Jess hears Schmidt laughing in the background. "I told you he needs his own cell phone! He's getting personal calls now."

"Oh God," says Jess, and then she pulls Elsie up into her lap and hands her the phone. "Go ahead, baby. Tell Benjy you're going to be a big sister."

Elsie is all too quick to hold the phone to ear with a little smirk, and  _God_ , are five-year-olds supposed to making faces like these? "Benjy...," she says, and then she takes a big breath. "I'm going to be a big sister, and I'm going to be a better big sister than you, because sisters are girls, and you're a gross, ugly  _boy_."

Jess face palms and tugs the phone away from her daughter's ear. "Okay, okay, that's enough, he gets it. Benjy, put Mommy back on."

Elsie hops off of Jess's lap and runs over to Nick, who's sitting on the couch watching TV. "I told Benjy he was gross," Elsie says proudly, and Nick turns around to look at his daughter, wrinkling his nose.

"Good, baby," he says. "He  _is_ gross. He's one-half Uncle Schmidt."

—

"I'm just afraid she's going to feel... neglected," Jess expresses one night. 

It's four in the morning and she can't sleep but Nick sure can. He rolls over on his side and brushes a hand along her waist. "Elsie's half-Nick, which means she's Cool as a Cucumber. She doesn't get jealous. It's not in her genes."

"Please! You got jealous when the cashier at the grocery store called me 'Ma'am' the other day," Jess says, remembering Nick's snicker and eye-roll as the twenty-something cashier scanned his Chips Ahoy cookies. 

"Not true. I got offended, because you don't look like a ' _ma'am_ ', you look twenty-five, and you've still _got it_."

Jess blushes at that, and then she sighs. "Fine, but you still get jealous, Nick, and so does Elsie. I'm just afraid she'll think we don't have enough attention to give her when the baby comes."

—

Elsie starts to get jealous about Baby Number 2 when Jess is seven months along.

It's the day of her baby shower, and Cece hosts it at her apartment. It's Girls-Only, and even though Schmidt and Nick try to crash it, Cece shoves them out of the apartment. "No. Absolutely not. You can't play Bobbing for Pacifiers. I don't care how good you are at  _sucking on things_." She's looking at her husband when she says this, and Schmidt takes a bow. "Now take Benjy to Chuck E. Cheese's and scram."

Jess opens so many presents, and  _God_ , does her kid really need this many onesies? She's on the last one - a diaper genie from Winston and Aly - when Elsie tugs on the bottom of her shirt and says, "Mom, I wanna go home. Or to Chuck E. Cheese's. How come  _Benjy_ got to go to Chuck E. Cheese's?"

Jess leans down to smooch Elsie's forehead. "Because you're a girl, and because I wanted you here with me. Now come, help Mommy grab all of the baby's presents."

Elsie refuses, her arms folded underneath her chest. "No."

"Elsie, come on. We have to load the car. Then we can have cake!"

"I don't  _like_ cake." She's lying. She totally loves cake, and cupcakes, and ice cream, and -- Okay, did you really think Jess would raise someone who isn't a dessert person?

Cece comes out of her bedroom with the baby in one arm and just frowns over at Elsie. "Did someone just say they don't like cake?"

Elsie says, "Yes. Me. I did.", and Cece laughs and hands her half-asleep daughter over to Jess. She crouches down to Elsie's level and Jess just shoots her a look.

Cece knows what she's doing, though, and why Jess's six-year-old is about to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of her living room. "Baby presents aren't all that great anyway," she says, and Elsie cocks an eyebrow. "I'm serious. Six-year-olds get like,  _way_ cooler toys, not stupid  _diapers_."

Jess catches on and just frantically nods her head over to the tower of diaper boxes on her right. "Cece's right, Elsie. Remember the Barbie Dream house Daddy got you for your birthday last week? Babies don't get those."

Elsie shrugs. "I  _guess_ ," she says, and then she clings onto her mom's leg. "But I still want to go to Chuck E. Cheese's."

—

Elsie is big enough to shampoo her own hair now, and she doesn't need Jess to tuck her into bed anymore, but one night Nick's working and Jess is in the kitchen reading a magazine and Elsie comes out of the bathroom with soaking wet hair and a little frown. "Mommy?"

Jess looks up from her magazine and bites the inside of her cheek. "Hey baby. Did you get shampoo in your eye again?"

"Yes," Elsie says, nodding shamefully. "I need you to wash my hair, mommy."

Jess, obviously pleased, stands up from the kitchen table as fast as someone who's eight months pregnant possibly can. "And then I can tuck you in too, right?"

Elsie bites down on her lip and slips her hand into Jess's. "Yes. You can tuck me in."

—

They're all playing this board game at Jess and Nick's one night, and Schmidt's losing to two  _six-year-olds_ , and Nick is telling him to suck it up, and Cece and Jess stopped paying attention hours ago because they kind of hate board games.

"Nick," Jess says, and no one notices she's talking through gritted teeth and holding the side of the table, and -- " _Nick_. Baby."

He stops in the middle of rolling the dice to look up at Jess. "What? Was it not my turn?"

Schmidt says, "No, it was mine, you buffoon!"

"It was  _mine_ ," Elsie says, her little arm reaching in between Nick and Schmidt to grab the dice off of the game board. 

" _Baby_ ," Jess repeats, and she puffs her cheeks out, and then she bangs on the tabletop so hard all of the pieces on the board fall down.

"HEY!" Everyone yells at her, and Schmidt stands up and yells, "I was  _this_ close!"

"No you weren't, you idiot, Elsie  _and_ Benjy were beating you," Nick says.

" _BABY_." Jess stands up with a wobble this time, and Cece walks out of Jess and Nick's room sans the sleeping baby she just put down, and she widens her eyes.

"Um, someone might want to get Jess to a hospital," she says, and then she races over and squeezes Jess on the shoulder.

" _Thank you_ ," Jess says, and her breathing is heavy. "Hospital. Baby. Right. Now."

Nick starts to freak out, running around in circles in the dining room, going, "I forgot how to do this!"

Schmidt slaps him on the back. "What? Drive a car to the nearest hospital? It's not like you're the one pushing the kid out of your va..." And he stops, because two six-year-olds are listening to him intently. " _Lady box_."

"' _Lady box_ '? Yeah, that one snapped me out of it, thanks buddy." Nick breathes and grabs Jess's coat off of the couch. 

Jess is crouched over and she's deep breathing and  _thank God_ she's better at this than Nick is, because one of them has to keep it together. 

"You okay, babe?" Nick asks her, and she rolls her eyes and says, "Well, I'm kind of giving birth, sooooo..."

"Let's go Jessica, come on," he says, and his hand falls to the small of her back, his other hand grabbing onto the doorknob. 

"WAIT!" Jess yells out, and she turns around, shaking Nick off of her. "I need to say bye to Elsie and let her know how much I love her. The internet says that's important."

Turns out Elsie's already forgotten about Jess, and Failed Game Board Night. She's on the floor in the living room playing with a bunch of Benjy's model trains, humming something unidentifiable as Benjy knocks his trains into the ones Elsie is playing with. "I killed you," he says. "Now you have to get off the railroad, because you're a girl."

Elsie rolls her eyes. "Your daddy would be mad at you for saying that. He's a  _feminist_. Mommy and Daddy said."

"I don't know what that is," Benjy says, and then he casually just throws two more model trains at Elsie's.

Jess races into the living room and through the mess of model trains and tries to lift Elsie up into her arms, until she realizes she's kind of... in labor and unable to pick a six-year-old up.

Schmidt notices, and he walks over to Elsie and grabs her by both of her arms, hoisting her up to Jess.

"Thanks," she says, and then she cups Elsie's face in both of her hands and pulls her head closer to hers. "I'm gonna miss you  _so much_ , baby."

"Why?" Elsie asks, shrugging in Schmidt's grip. "I'm just in the living room."

"I'm going to the hospital, Elsie. Daddy and I are going to get your new brother or sister now."

"Oh. Okay. Pick out a good one," Elsie says, and then she wiggles out of Schmidt's arms and away from Jess's one million kisses and back onto the floor. "Bye."

Jess starts to cry then, and Nick has to literally shove her out of the door before she spends the next hour pondering why Elsie is so calm about all of this, and damn it, they need to go have a baby now.

—

Jess side-eyes Nick three hours into labor because all she can eat are ice chips and he's sitting by her beside with a tray of cookies from the hospital cafeteria.

"Huh?" She nods to the cookies, and he rubs his lips together. "Oh. I'm stressed, Jessica!"

" _You're_ stressed? I went into labor out of nowhere, two weeks before my due date, and I think I broke that board game when I banged on the table."

"You don't even like board games, Jess," Nick says.

She shakes her head and starts to cry, her lips quivering. She feels another contraction, and then, "YOU DON'T KNOW ME, NICK."

—

It's 3:52 A.M. and Nick legitimately passes out when he sees the baby crowning, and  _whoa_ , dads really do that not-on-TV?

Jess yells, "Oh my God, get him up, he's so out of shape!", and three nurses rush to Nick's aide. "Well, don't all of you help him, I'm kind of having a baby here."

Jess puffs a few times, and then screams, because  _ow_ , this kid has a big head, but with two more pushes, the sound of a wailing baby fills the room. 

A nurse hoists Nick up (no concussion,  _sweet_!) just in time for him to cut the umbilical cord, and then a beautiful, sweet baby girl with a full head of hair is in Jess's arms.

Nick kisses her dead on the mouth and they're both laugh-crying because she just pushed out a  _baby_ , and  _holy shit_ \-- they did it. She reaches one of her arms out from behind the baby and squeezes onto Nick's hand.

"A-Another girl," she says, breathing through her tears. They didn't find out the gender with Elsie, and they didn't find out the gender with Baby Number 2. (Mostly because Gender Reveal Parties are something only people like _Schmidt_  enjoy throwing.)

Nick pulls out a wrinkled receipt from his pocket, and Jess takes her eyes off of her Brand New Baby Girl for half a second to wince at him in disgust. "Ew. Is that from yesterday's lunch? Wash your jeans, babe."

He just shakes his head and inches back into Jess, and then he shows her the back of the receipt. "The names we scribbled down last week. She doesn't look like a 'Nathaniel'."

"I was  _convinced_ we were having a boy," Jess says. "Well, we can't name her  _Nathaniel_ , but what about... I don't know, don't we have a unisex name on there?"

"I'm not letting you name our child  _Sutton_ , Jess, I'm just not."

"Schmidt liked it!", she protests.

"Then let him name their third child Sutton. We're not doing it."

—

They're discharged from the hospital two days later - an overly-exhausted Jess, an 'I-ate-too-much-hospital-cafeteria-food-and-I-kind-of-liked-it' Nick, and Baby Girl Miller, because they're both terrible at making decisions.

When they get back to their apartment at around noon, Cece and Schmidt are both knocked out on the couch with all three kids. They look worse than Jess does, and she just gave  _birth_. There are coloring books all over the floor, spilt Cheerios all over the coffee table, and Elsie has five bows scattered all in her hair.

"Well... I was hoping for a more.... awake welcome, but I'll take it," says Jess, handing the baby carrier over to her husband.

Cece wakes up first when she hears the door slam. "Baby!", she yells, and then she races to the front door to fawn over Baby Girl Miller, all snuggled up in this ridiculous onesie Schmidt bought for her. (It says 'New In Town', and it's so  _Schmidt_ , and Nick yelled at him for like, thirty minutes about it, but then he gave in and said, 'Whatever. Jess is gonna put her in it regardless. I hate you.'.)

Schmidt wakes up too, his daughter sleeping on his chest, Elsie and Benjy on either side of him. "Is she wearing my onesie?" he asks, standing up off of the couch.

"Uncles can't wear  _onesies_ ," Elsie says, a hand on each hip, and then she catches sight of her parents and the baby and makes a dart for Jess's middle.

"Ow, - I mean, hi baby!" Jess bends down and peppers kisses all over Elsie's hair, and then she pulls the random bows out of it. "Who dressed my kid?"

Cece points a finger to Schmidt. "He said he was 'letting her express herself'."

"Yeah, let's  _not_ rummage through my daughter's bow collection while I'm gone again," Jess says threateningly, looking at Schmidt. "So... We kind of have a problem."

Cece and Schmidt just stare until Nick says, "Yeah, she sort of doesn't have, you know, a name."

"Nicholas! Did you not look through the extensive list I emailed you last Friday? I'm offended."

"Those names were stupid, Schmidt," says Nick, and then he sets down Baby Girl Miller in her carrier. "I mean,  _Moses_? Does this cute little angel look like a  _Moses_?"

"Well, she's a 'she', so, I don't know, let me think of something..." Schmidt narrows his eyes and crouches down to the carrier, wrinkling his nose at the sight of the baby.

Elsie bends down along with Schmidt and gets a look at her new little sister, then turns to Jess and Nick with her lips pressed together. "You should name her Charlotte, like my Barbie."

"What did you say, Elsie?"

"I  _said_ , you should name her Charlotte, like my Barbie."

Jess grabs onto Nick's arm and shakes it, and he looks at her with wide eyes. "What, Jess?"

"Elsie just named her baby sister and it's actually better than anything I could've came up with."

They let a six-year-old name Charlotte, but everyone likes it and then Schmidt's like, "It's nice and all, but what about  _Sutton_?"

—

Being parents to one kid? Fine. Okay. Being parents to  _two kids_? Also fine. Also okay.

Jess has a six-month-old in one arm and a spatula in the other because Elsie just  _needs_ chocolate chip pancakes on a Wednesday. That  _might_ be spit-up in her hair, she doesn't know, but she can't shower until Elsie is at the bus stop and Nick's coffee is finished brewing and Charlotte gets her bottle. When's the last time she showered? Whatever.

"Thank you _so_ much, mommy," says Elsie when Jess plops two pancakes down onto a Queen Elsa plate. They're learning all about manners this week in the first grade.

Jess bounces Charlotte on her hip and leans in to smooch Elsie on the side of the face. "You're welcome, baby."

Nick walks out of their room and grabs the baby from Jess and then says, "It's nice out. I'll take the stroller to the bus stop, and you can stay here and, you know,  _actually_ shower for more than five minutes. I know you missed singing  _Wicked_."

"I can never finish  _Popular_ in full with the kids around," she says, and then she wrinkles her nose and smooches Nick on the mouth. "Oh. And thank you. This two kids thing is a piece of cake."

"No it's not," says Nick, shaking his head, "but that's kind of why I love it so much."

 


End file.
